I got the sick

I went home after working an hour and a half today. I've had an upset stomach since Friday, and the usual side effects took place. Today was pretty bad as well, and every half hour until about 1:00 pm resulted in an excruciating stomach ache. A flu symptom perhaps, but I made the right call in leaving work- the first time in my nearly 6 months there. At least I'm not vomiting; I'll take a stomach ache any day over puking.

I did get to catch up on a lot of On Demand, though. Some paranormal fun like alien abductions and vampires. Oh, and Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) was in the mix. A CLASSIC.

Writing is going well too. Everyday so far without fail. Lately, I've been plodding through a first draft of Wendigo! for a potential half-hour puppet theatre piece. It's coming along well enough and shaping into something tangible. Bunraku and shadow puppets will tell the story. It's a simple telling of the legend so far, but I'm having fun putting it together.

Which continues the question for me: "What the hell am I doing with theatre?" Ugh. I hate it. So challenging, but it's that whole purging thing. If I don't do it, it'll bother me that I didn't. Argh. My stigma, of course, is that if I complete the purge, it'll cost me $500.

Better to ache than to purge...?

3:48 Psychosis

It's odd what comes out of the brain in the early morning hours, and then into the laptop. A couple of goofy sketches that will probably go nowhere, but they serve the purpose of my writing exercises. One is very Monty Python inspired, the other more Kids in the Hall. Undeveloped, but they give me a chuckle.

I feel fat lately. It's been almost 5 months since I've run any distance whatsoever.

The Cymbeline reading was fun. I hope to do another one soon, or perhaps even a play.

I am tired of the "come see my play" notices I get through email and Facebook. It makes me jealous and crabby. I mean, I want to see your show, but Christ it reminds me of my own inadequate theatre career that I haven't put to permanent rest. Meaning, I haven't found that other thing I love to do. The thought makes me tired and crabby.

Not entirely unhappy, but crabby.

Still writing. I am actually finding it rewarding to be creating something from scratch that has no real bearing on something I will submit, ever have read or published. There's no pressure to have any deadline, just add to something, write down a dream and call it a day.

Speaking of which... I slept in yesterday (no work as it was Veteran's Day). I was having that dream about acting where I don't know my lines and I can't ever remember having a rehearsal. But I am waiting in the wings of the State Theatre in Eau Claire, getting ready to come on as some flamboyant character in a 2 man play, apparently as part of a short play festival. I think I must have been the oldest one there, as the group that went before me on the messy stage were giggling highschool girls. My acting partner went on and started the scene.

I decided not to experience the terror of whatever might come out of my mouth and woke up. A little bit of lucidity- enough to wake up, in any case. Apparently, there's an African tribe that teaches one to control their dreams. Now that would be a day-starter...

Yesterday off was good. A cleaner garage, two job applications mailed/submitted and a smattering of video games made for a good day.

Oh, and writing. I keep adding to a story about a theatre tech guy who makes himself homeless and stays at the theatre where he works. Not great prose, but it serves my 30 day exercise. No expectations or pressure- it flows pretty well once I get going.

homework

I listened in on a Jack Canfield conference call today (of "Chicken Soup for the Soul" fame). Every first Wednesday of the month, Jack answers pre-submitted questions at lunchtime, often referring listeners to his "Success Principles" book (which I own). Lots of food for thought- often overwhelming- perhaps intentionally.

Jack also gives a homework assignment to try for the coming month. This time he said to try and form or break a habit by doing it everyday for 30 days. Just one habit, like not drinking soda or biting your fingernails for 30 days. Or, perhaps playing guitar for 15 minutes a day or jogging, everyday for 30 days.

I'm going to try writing. Anything. Whatever I feel like- whether it's the screenplay, or a lost "Among the Oats" episode, or perhaps blogging like I am now. Everyday, to form a new habit or discipline.

I'm game. I enjoy it enough to try it. I'll let you know how it goes. Whoever you are.